Amanda Hocking

Amanda's Blog Post

shame on you, America

November 23rd, 2009 by
This post currently has 6 comments
I recently wrote an excellent blog about how we should all overthrow the government.
Then something happened and I realized that I had much more pressing soapbox to get on.
Adam Lambert kissed a dude on the American Music Awards last night. He did other things, which I’m not going to comment on because I don’t want to spend three hours writing a point by point of his performance compared to his female peers, and it’s also not entirely relevant to the point I am going to make.
ABC chose not to reair the kiss (and I am only speaking of the kiss itself, not any other part of his act) because it was inappropriate. On the West Coast, his performance was censored. The blogosphere is all atwitter with disgusting and rude and disgraceful, etc this act was.
I am not even going to defend the kiss here. I am not going to make parallals between similar girl on girl kisses I’ve seen, or the amount of hetrosexual kissing/sex that I see on television, including ABC.
I was disturbed by how outraged the American public seemed to be, although this shouldn’t be any surprise to me since; A) same-sex marriage is illegal in 45 states, and B) everything under the sun offends teh American public. You are finnicky, finnicky bastards.
So, as per usual, I went to my twitter to express my feelings, and said “You know what was offensive about Adam Lambert kissing a dude? Your reaction to it, America.”
Notice I only mention the kiss. Not his entire performance.
Suddenly, for the first time ever, I was flooded with responses. Most of them were positive, but some of them were not. I didn’t realize that this was such an important statement to make. I barely put any thought into it when I typed it. I am pro-gay rights, and I’m just generally offended by homophobia. 
Once people started freaking out, I wanted to delete the tweet. Because I’m not a huge Adam Lambert fan. I liked him on Idol, and I like his 2012 song, but I had no plans to buy his album. I didn’t really feel the need to defend him, and I could just not talk about it if I wanted to. 
Then, for the first time, I think I really realized how hard it must be to be gay. I take it for granted that I’m straight, and as a fag hag, I always support and love gay people. It doesn’t occur to me not to, and it doesn’t usually occur to me that other people will. I have created for myself a very safe gay loving bubble. 
I had somehow managed to delude myself into believing that because everyone that really matters to me supports gay rights or is gay themselves that everyone on the planet was like that. 
This whole Adam Lambert thing makes me want to cry. I didn’t realize how hard it still was to be gay. When I see people out, like Neil Patrick Harris and Rosie O’Donnell, and they seem so happy, I don’t understand why anyone struggles with the decision to come out. I honestly didn’t think that many people still cared.
I am disillusioned by the lack of progress I thought we had made. (I saw “we” in reference to the gay rights movement, which I consider myself to be a part of.)  When people refer to gay people as being brave, I usually scoff. Because I think, “They’re just people. Like me.” But it does take courage to be open, and I didn’t realize how much.
Today, because a few people on twitter on were offended by a supportive statement I made about someone else, I wanted to go back in the fag hag closet. But its because of that urge to do that, that urge I had for the first time to want to hide my love of all things homosexual (except for women, cause unfortunately, I’m not a lesbian) that makes me realize I need to redouble my efforts. That we all need to.
This should NOT be an issue. An adult male kissing another consenting adult male is no more offensive than any other adult kissing another consenting adult. The facts that matter aren’t gender but age and consent. 
In a time when the world and economy are falling to shambles, we shouldn’t even be discussing this. It should simply accepted.
One day, we will look back on the way American treated gays with the same shame and regret that we look at how treated (treat) blacks.  

Leave a Reply

  • First, Thank you for being honest and staying the course with your feelings and not going back into the metaphorical closet about how you feel about gay issues.

    I must say that back when you were becoming popular I started to read some of your blog and follow you on Twitter. I don’t know if it was the headiness of your success or what but I decided to not follow you anymore because of some of your comments.

    Things changed for me at the beginning of this year. I determined that this is the year I am going to be published. Now I am writing full force myself and helping others write.

    I started looking for Authors that either talk about or have written about their insecurities when they were writing before they were published and/or more about their writing process. I was beginning to think that writing and selling your books came so easily to you that you were a complete anomaly. But you aren’t. You were just as worried as the rest of us.

    I am enjoying reading your posts from before you “Made it” and I am glad that you were blogging before you were popular and allowed your true self to shine through. That will help other writers more than anything else. That is what I am going to write about for the article I have been doing research for.

    You might think about re-sharing some of your older posts with your fans either through Twitter or listing your top ten in a new post. Maybe you already have. One of the best things that has helped me as a writer, no I am not published yet, was reading Elizabeth Gilbert saying that she thought her book, Eat Pray Love, wasn’t any good while she was writing it. It keeps me going and not worry about the writing being perfect until I get to the editing stage.

    Thank you Amanda for being you and I hope you let your fans see more of the real you in the future and not just that you drank red bull and ate sweet tarts while writing. It is much easier to relate to the woman that had bad days and good days than the one that seemed to magically make it happen.


  • Esmer says:

    High five, Amanda.

  • Bookspread says:

    What a wonderful, sincere, outspoken post. Thank you so much. You have inspired me to fix a little moral dilemma that I had with Orson Scott Card and his horribly soft-spoken homophobia.
    Keep doing what you are doing!

  • I am reading your blog in reverse order. Wow. You are so honest. Maybe I should have the guts to be just as honest in my own blog. Anyway, I read this post and just have to comment, months and months too late, since no one else did: thanks.