More Human Than Human
I didn’t really go to college. I mean, I kinda did. We have a community college in town, and the first time I went for a semester, I took like 9 or 12 credits or something, and I only went to one class or maybe I didn’t go to any of them. I don’t remember any more, but the good news is that I finally paid off my student loan for that.
The second time I went to college I was much more committed. But I was working two jobs, working around 60-70 hours a week, and I tried to take a full course load on top of that. I went to all my classes for the first two months, but by month three, I was too burnt out and only went to my English class.
And thus ended my college experience.
Well, sorta. I had a couple friends who were in college, and I used to write papers for them all the time. I don’t know why exactly. My friends aren’t idiots and could probably write great papers themselves. They didn’t pay me for them or anything either. I just liked doing the paper to see what kind of grades I could I get, I guess.
I don’t actually know what my incentive was, actually. I just know that I did them. I don’t remember all of them, but I wrote a couple choice ones for Eric. One was about censorship, and the other was about drug testing in the pharmaceutical industry. Eric got an A on both papers.
My absolutely favorite paper I’ve ever written in my entire life was for my friend Fifi. She was in some movie class. I don’t really know why or what it was about anymore, but they had to watch movies and discuss them and write papers on them.
Her assignment was to watch the movie Blade Runner, and if I recall correctly, she tried watching it but she kept falling asleep during it. To which, I freaked out on her several times, saying things like, “Blade Runner is amazing! How can you sleep through that?” Eric defended her by saying that it gave him BillyBobThorntonitis*
(*BillyBobThorntonitis is the made up name for a real condition that both Eric and I suffer from, although for Eric it’s much more severe. Basically, it’s the feeling you get when you’re watching a film, particularly an old film, that makes you feel dirty and gross and just plain icky, so you don’t want to watch it. Eric coined the term, because apparently, Billy Bob Thornton makes him feel that way, or more specifically, Slingblade made him feel that way. Had I named the condition, I would’ve called it DavidLynchitis.
As an aside, “itis” is a suffix meaning inflammation, so what Eric is actually is that he has an inflammation of the Billy Bob Thornton, which makes me picture Billy Bob with his head all red and swollen, and that makes me giggle.)
Anyway, back to the story. So Fifi can’t/won’t/doesn’t want to watch Blade Runner. I love the movie, and I’ve actually read the book that it’s based on (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick, who I also love lots).
So I wrote this paper, and I titled it “More Human Than Human,” mostly because as I was writing the paper, I had that White Zombie song stuck in my head the entire time. And it was a really good paper, and it got an A.
It bums me out, because I don’t know where that paper is. Fifi probably threw it away, which makes sense, because most people don’t hang onto their schoolwork for ten years, myself included. But I really loved that paper.
Now I want to go watch Blade Runner. And Total Recall. I could probably talk Eric into watching Total Recall but not Blade Runner, for the aforementioned reasons.
Also, what are your thoughts on the upcoming remake of Total Recall starring Colin Farrell? And the Ridley Scott Alien prequel/sequel/tie-in/reboot/? Prometheus. I’m cautiously excited about both. They both made it on my Summer Movie List (which is prestigious).
And as another aside to this rambling blog that really doesn’t have much of a point whatsoever, many of books have small allusions to the works of Ridley Scott. I’m a big fan. Also, his name is Ridley, which is pretty sweet ass.
And i had another question did you write a noter Under the Vampiremon book ?
Hi I wanted to first say that I am a huge fan of yours and you amaze me. Your books are really Fantastic. I am 12 years old and from Austria Reichenau in Innsbruck. Abe I put into my head to write a vampire novel. Since you’re such a great writer, I wanted to ask you whether you can give me some tips.
Cautiously excited over Prometheus? For me that dickhead Speilberg all but destroyed my excitment for movies. I knew he’d fuck up Indy but I got excited anyway. What a let down. Tired of being let down by these assholes and if Prometheus goes the way I think it will I will bloody give up on cinema. I’m tired of hearing about humans in sci-fi, how something is about to wipe them out, how they brought evil upon themselves, how they started something that turned evil omfg shut up! I wanted Space Jockeys like every other Alien fan!
Ridley is one of only a handful of people I refer to as ‘the man’. I agree with you that he is a very groovy dude, and yes, Bladerunner is awesome pie. He better not have fucked things up.
Excuse the random rant, off I go.
Just got back from Cape Town airport, South Africa. Nearly fell over the great display of your Trylle series in the doorway of the bookshop, so I bought all three –very excitedly so that the checkout lady knew what to recommend to travellers looking for something to read.
Also, Don’t get hung up on grammar on your blog. It is so fresh and spontaneous as it is, and I fear you might get all stiff, and eventually get bored with posting if you have to watch your P’s and Q’s.
Also, I always felt somehow a little bit less than people who had been to college, so I went at the age of 49. Now I am awesomely educated and don’t feel one iota cleverer than I did before.
Smart woman, Karen. I had a pal who went back in her thirties after dropping out (her Dad used to tell her she was dumb — dumb him, he was an alcoholic). After she got her college degree, she got a Masters, then went on to teach English for 20 years. So I guess she’s pretty smart now!
Actually, she was always smart, just like you.
Me, I have an English degree, a law degree, and a grad degree in vocal performance. I like school. But it don’t make you no smarter… it just makes you more aware of other ideas that you might be exposed to while studying, and teaches you the accepted way things are done.
Now I’m a novelist and a publisher… and I LOVE that!
Enjoy the books.
Love the first book. Getting ready to read the next.
I’ve already bought the trylle trilogy on my kindle so I was wondering if you could make a separate book with the additional stories in it. Please.
I’m very sad by the way Australia has decided to release the books. We got the first one before everyone else, then the second only this month and now I have to wait for the last novel in May, I wish they’d do it every month, because I read them in a day. So it’s a long wait…
I thought the books were coming out in Australia the same were in the UK, South Africa, Asia, and India – Switched in January, Torn in February, and the last book coming out on April 26, 2012. So it should be only a few more weeks until Ascend comes out!
Sounds like you got a DIY degree by writing the papers you wanted to.
I feel about about the same with the upcoming remakes–cautiously excited. The movie that’s on my radar right now is THE CABIN IN THE WOODS. I have high hopes for it and don’t want to be let down.
Leave a Reply