Amanda Hocking

If you read my last blog (Underrated and Amazeballs), you’ll know that my plans to go away with friends for the weekend was thwarted by a sick dog, so I decided to have a movie marathon to cheer myself up. I didn’t end up getting to all the movies (or really, most of them) but I did end up having a really good Saturday. Here’s how it went:

I spent the day with Elroy, the aforementioned sick dog, who is doing great and looking adorable. 

Then I kicked off the day with this movie, Detention, which I love lots. I also learned that Josh Hutcherson was born after Nevermind came out, and I’ve never felt so old my entire life.

I didn’t feel like watching another movie, so I decided to re-read the first volume of The Sandman. It’s been years since I read them, and I’m not sure I even completed the whole series (they were my step-dad’s, so I just read what he had). It’s as good as I remember it being, plus the Scarecrow cameo was fun.

 My hair kept falling in my face because my bangs are getting too long, so I put on this fancy headband.

 

By then, I was getting hungry, so I put on some Black Lab –

 – and I made myself some very tasty lo mein with asparagus for supper.

When I finished eating, I took my trusty Red Bull and went down to my office.

 I worked on a new book, which I’ve been crazy excited about for awhile now.

While I worked, I listened to my awesome book soundtrack, which includes my new favorite song – Fall Out Boy’s “My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark.”

 

ISIS: International Secret Intelligence Service

P. S. I’m having starting a giveaway on Wednesday, so watch out for that.

For a few months, some friends and I have had plans to go away for this weekend. I’d been working really hard lately, and I was looking forward to the break away and spending time with pals. We were supposed to leave today (Friday).

So on Thursday night, my best friend/roommate Eric ordered buffalo wings. He ate them, then he went to bed. I was in my office working, so my dog Elroy seized the opportunity to devour 8 remainders of buffalo wings, bones and all.

If you’re unfamiliar with dogs and chicken bones, they don’t go together. Chicken bones have a propensity to splinter, and when they do, that can lead to obstructions, vomiting, internal bleeding, and even death.

Elroy, the doggie garbage disposal

I took Elroy to the vet’s, and they told me that he seems okay (and he does), but that I should keep an eye on him for the next day or two, just in case. Because there’s a good chance that nothing will happen, but there’s also a chance that as he’s trying to digest the bones, they’ll tear and he’ll throw up and need surgery.

So instead of going away with this weekend and dropping Elroy off at his kennel, I am staying home with him. He will probably be fine, but on the off chance that’s he not, I need to  be here.

Initially, I was quite bummed about not being able to go. So then I tried to think of fun things that I could do when I’m home by myself. (These things include working on a new book and re-reading Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman series, which I still plan on doing).

But since I’m home alone (Eric went on the trip with our friends), I thought I should do something that I don’t also do when he’s home (like work or read). In fact, whenever Eric goes away for any amount of time, I always do the same thing: Movie Marathon.

He doesn’t prevent me from watching anything, so I don’t know why I suddenly get excited and think, “I can finally watch those movies!” every time he’s gone, but I do.

The theme for this weekend’s movie marathon is: Underrated and Amazeballs. These are movies that I think are totally fantastic, and while they may have a cult following, they aren’t as readily appreciated by the mainstream. And now, in case you wanted to join in on the greatest movie marathon of all time, here’s my list:

Seven Psychopaths -I just watched this movie for the first time about a week ago, and I already can’t wait to see it again. I absolutely loved it. Full disclosure: Sam Rockwell is my favorite actor. I think everything he does is amazing, and he steals every scene. However, I actually think that Christopher Walken is the true light in this movie. Almost every one of his lines are of the best I’ve heard in a long time. His scenes with Colin Farrell and Sam Rockwell in the desert are phenomenal, and I’m actually quite peeved that Walken wasn’t nominated for anything for this role. It’s fantabulous. You should be warned that their is excessive violence and language (not quite Tarantino, but in a similar vein).

Detention – I read the description for this and thought it sounded absolutely terrible. But I was bored, so I watched it anyway. It’s one of those movies that I feel like many people won’t like, but for me, it’s near perfection. It hits all the right notes of things I love. It’s funny. It’s fresh. It’s self-referential and full of pop culture. And it has a few twists that I didn’t see coming, which is always nice. It also has that guy in it that everybody cares about now because he’s in The Hunger Games. But I’ve liked him since Firehouse Dog, so that’s that. If you like The Breakfast Club and Back to the Future and Scream, you might like this film. But I refuse to make guarantees on that.

Donnie Darko – Okay, so this probably isn’t that underrated. It has quite the cult following. But I still remember the first time I saw it. I was getting ready to hang out with my boyfriend and it just came on, and as soon as the countdown and Frank showed up, I was hooked. This was in the days before DVR, so I stayed to finish watching it, and I ended up late to meet my boyfriend, and we got in a huge fight. But it was totally worth it. Because 9 years later, I still love Donnie Darko, but I ditched the boyfriend a long time ago. Also – this movie has the greatest soundtrack ever. Tears For Fears, the Church, Echo & the Bunnymen, INXS, not to mention that fantastic cover of “Mad World” by Gary Jules. If you haven’t seen it, do yourself a favor and watch it. It doesn’t always make sense (in fact, it rarely does), but it’s soooo…. I don’t know… captivating that it doesn’t matter. Bonus: Patrick Swayze playing a character very against type, and I always love Swayze.

Drive – Probably not underrated either, since critics everywhere raved about this. With good reason. But it wasn’t exactly a blockbuster, either. When I saw the previews, I thought it was going to be like Drive Angry, and I was super confused about why Serious Actor Ryan Gosling would do something like this. But then I saw it. And all the parts of it should be terrible. On paper, everything sounds like it should be terrible – from the score, to the jacket, to the plot, to the casting of Albert Brooks – but somehow it’s put together in such a way that it all works like better than anything I’ve seen in a long time. It takes a cliched premise that could’ve turned into another Jason Stathem fare and turns it into something amazing. It transcends genres and defies explanation. Note: Lots of graphic violence in this one. But after Donnie Darko, this film has the second greatest score of all time. Double Bonus: It’s based on a book that I will read soon because I just remembered that it existed.

Mystery Men – The most underrated comedy of all time. I also think this is the funniest movie I’ve ever seen. (Even funnier than The Holy Grail. Yeah. It’s that funny). It has a tremendous cast of underrated actors – Hank Azaria, William H. Macy, Paul Reubens, Janeane Garofalo, Eddie Izzard, Geoffery Rush, Doug Jones, and Tom Waits (who was also in Seven Psychopaths, and he was great in that as well). It’s so very, very, very funny. I love the sets, the costumes, and the super heroes. Honorable Mention: After Mystery Men, I think Galaxy Quest is the most overlooked comedy. It’s so hilarious, and it once again stars the incomparable Sam Rockwell. Another great underrated Sam Rockwell movie: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which is HILARIOUS AND AWESOME, and yet somehow not nearly as awesome as the book. Read the books by Douglas Adams, then watch the movie. (Mos Def is just the best in that movie).

Moon – So I wasn’t kidding when I said that I like Sam Rockwell. It’s just everything he does is amazing, and he picks roles that are so diversified and they just happen to almost always be in really fantastic films. (Remember Cowbowys & Aliens? The guy has great taste). Moon takes what could be a simple and cliched sci-fi premise of a man alone in space, and when it started out, I had great fears and predictions about where the film would head, and it didn’t go anywhere near them. It flipped my expectations on their head and made something that was intelligent, moving, and entertaining. Kevin Spacey is also great as GERTY. Bonus: The film is written and directed by Duncan Jones, aka Zowie Bowie, David’s Bowie‘s son. And if you haven’t went out and got the single “Where Are We Now?” off of David Bowie‘s upcoming new album The Next Day, then you should do yourself a favor and rush out and get it immediately.

Disco Bloodbath in the middle

Party Monster – Based on the book Disco Bloodbath by James St. James, which is somehow even funnier and more delightful than the movie, I fell in love with Party Monster the instant I heard about it. Not only does it star my second favorite member of my favorite acting family, Macauly Culkin, after a long absence from film, but the movie is funny, so quick, so dark, and just so damn entertaining, I love it. I love everything about it. It’s based on a true story about club kids James St. James (played by Seth Green) and his friendship with the narcissistic yet somehow charismatic Michael Alig (played by Culkin) who eventually commits murder. Despite the humor of the overall film, it does treat the murder with respect to the vicitim, which I do appreciate. Fun facts: I used to have a ferret named Skrink after this movie. Note: I just looked online for Disco Bloodbath the bookand its apparently listed as Party Monster, but my copy still says Disco Bloodbath so whatevs.

Rules of Attraction – Thanks to the success of Vampire Diaries and Ian Somerhalder, this film is getting to be less underrated. It’s based on the book by Bret Easton Ellis (and it’s a very faithful adaptation), but it’s bloodless compared to American Psycho. It’s actually bloodless compared to most of the movies on this list. I apparently like dark humor and gore. This, along with Drive, are probably the least funny films on the list. But I remember being in the theater, seeing a preview of this, and thinking, “I WILL LOVE THIS SO HARD!” And I did. Bonus: It stars Shannyn Sossamon, who I wanted to be for awhile. Also, another amazing soundtrack, including the Cure and Erasure, plus an incredibly haunting scene using “Without You” by Harry Nilsson.

Heathers – The ultimate cult classic. I love John Hughes, like almost more than anything, but after his string of feel-good teen-angst films, Heathers is kind of the anti-John Hughes. Mean Girls and Jennifer’s Body exist because of this movie. Teen culture as it exists today is because of this movie. It’s funny, smart, and so, so damned clever it’s unbelievable. Winona Ryder is amazing. If you haven’t seen Heathers, you should seriously run out and see it right now. Like right now.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang – At this point in my life, the only movies I’ve seen more than Kiss Kiss Bang Bang are Silence of the Lambs and Labyrinth. It has the quickest and funniest dialogue of any movie I’ve ever seen. The chemistry and timing between Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer is AMAZING. I do love Shane Black (who wrote this, along with many of the action films from the early 90s, like Lethal Weapon, The Last Boyscout, The Long Kiss Goodnight, Last Action Hero, and now the upcoming Iron Man 3), but this is by far his best work. Bonus: This is also one of my mom’s favorite movies. She giggles like crazy during in it, and it’s awesome.

Honorable Mentions:
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World – Not enough people saw this movie. I don’t know why. It’s funny, it’s cool, and the way it integrates video games and pop culture and stylized itself is truly original. Bonus: It stars my favorite Culkin, Kieran, as well as a string of other actors I enjoy, like Chris Evans, Allison Pill, Brandon Routh, Brie Larson, Jason Schartzman, Mae Whitman, Aubrey Plaza, and Johnny Simmons. Double Bonus: The video game for it is hilarious and awesome.

Igby Goes Down – Another Kieran Culkin classic. There has never been a film adaptation of Catcher in the Rye, but if there was, this would be it.

12 Monkeys – Maybe not underrated but probably a little forgotten. I love this movie. It is the only movie I’ve ever seen where the rules of time travel make complete and total sense to me. If time travel were possible, that’s how it’d work. Plus it’s Terry Gilliam. Another Bruce Willis film that could’ve made an honorable mention: Fifth Element. Fun and frenetic. Plus, Leeloo Dallas Multipass.

Warrior – Critically acclaimed but not seen by enough people. I talk a lot about my love for Tom Hardy but it’s in this movie that I think he proves he’s truly worth all the adulation. His performance was Oscar-worthy, and I don’t know why Nick Nolte playing Nick Nolte was nominated and not Tom Hardy. C’est la vie.

The Prestige – What I’m about to say won’t make sense but here it is: The Prestige is my favorite Christopher Nolan movie. But, you might say, “Isn’t The Dark Knight your favorite movie ever? How does this make sense?” Yes, I love The Dark Knight as a movie, as a masterpiece, as the wonderful amazing cinematic experience it is. However, where I think Christopher Nolan’s true brilliance shines in the layered, nuanced, and thoughtful way it does it is The Prestige. I think it’s a far superior film to Inception – although not as visually stunning – and I hope that in the future, Nolan returns more to his roots of artful storytelling. Bonus: It stars my beloved Michael Caine, as well as my other beloved David Bowie as Nikola Tesla, namesake of my cat “Nikki” Nikola “Fris.” If you don’t know who Tesla is, check out Oatmeal’s incredible breakdown of him: here.

And that’s my list. On a side note, I spent an insane amount of time linking up this blog to all kinds of fun stuff. Some of it’s obvious, but others are little Easter eggs of awesomeness. (Especially the second Nick Nolte).

Here’s a blog that everyone’s dying to read: What are my favorite Batman villains?

Note: There will be spoilers in this post if you have not seen any of the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy, so read at your own risk. But if you haven’t seen them, I don’t know how interesting this post will be to you anyway.

I actually get asked this question kind of a lot. (After “when is [insert book title] coming out?” or “is there going to be a movie?” the Batman villain question is probably a close third). I usually don’t answer because it’s complicated and doesn’t really fit in 140 characters.

My overall favorite Batman villain, combining film, TV show, video games, cartoon, and comics would be: The Scarecrow.

I know. That’s why I don’t usually say it. Because most people react with WTF?

I get it. He’s not always utilized the best. Most of the time, he’s simply a periphery character helping the Joker or somebody along with a master plan. But out of all of the villains, he’s the one that presents the most opportunity to be terrifying, and at times, he absolutely he is. Many other villains are brilliant, demented, sinister, campy, and all around good fun, but none have the capability to induce nightmares quite like the Scarecrow. And apparently that’s what I like in a villain – not charisma, not humor, but the ability to inflict absolute horror.

This isn’t really a weighted a scale, but the Scarecrow wins hands down in the film and video game department as my favorite in villain. In the comics, it’s a bit more murky. Obviously, the Joker has some of the best story lines, and in comic form, he’s probably my favorite villain.

Well, in fairness, I love the Joker in any form. I’ve never once seen a rendition of the Joker where I was like, “Nope. I hate that guy.” So in consistent awesomeness, he wins. But there’s still something that draws me inexorably to the Scarecrow.

My enjoyment of other villains also depends on which series I’m reading. Many times, I hate Catwoman. But then other times, I think she’s fancy. But much like the Scarecrow, she’s utilized to varying degrees of awesomeness.

There’s about a billion Batman villains in the comics, cartoons, and video games, and so I’m not going to go through and rank them all. (Except for the Calander Man. I hate that dude). But since most people are familiar with the movies, I thought I’d start that way.

So here’s my ranked list of live-action film Batman villains from 1989 until 2012:

1. Scarecrow – Cillian Murphy
2. The Joker – Heath Ledger
3. Poison Ivy – Uma Thurman
4. The Joker – Jack Nicholson
5. Bane – Tom Hardy
6. The Penguin – Danny Devito
7. Catwoman – Anne Hathaway
8. Two-Face – Aaron Eckhart
9. Catwoman – Michelle Pfeiffer  
   
10. Ra’s al Ghul – Liam Neeson
11. Mr. Freeze – Arnold Schwarzenegger 
12. The Riddler – Jim Carrey
13. Thalia al Ghul – Marion Cotillard 
14. Two-Face – Tommy Lee Jones
15. Harvey Dent – Billy Dee Williams – included as an honorable mention because he never became Two-Face in 1989’s Batman, but he’s friggin Billy Dee Williams and deserves a mention anyway

I didn’t include Falcone and some of the other antagonists from the Batman films that were enemies but didn’t necessarily belong in the Rogues Gallery. 

Most people take offense that Uma Thurman’s Poison Ivy is ranked so high, especially since generally, people consider Batman & Robin the worst film in the franchise. I happen to disagree, though I love Val Kilmer and George Clooneyy does little to improve on the cardboard performance Kilmer gives in that movie, but I enjoyed Batman & Robin in much the same way that I enjoyed the Adam West Batman. (And I tolerate Batman Forever at best).

And say what you will about Batman & Robin – and it is terrible – but Poison Ivy is such campy fun that I can’t help but love her. It’s an awful movie, and Uma knows it’s awful, and she’s still having such a good time with it. So I like her.

I also didn’t include the Bane from Batman & Robin because he wasn’t a character so much as a prop. But if I had included him, he’d be just below the Riddler.

Thalia – at least in the film – is a total waste of my time, and that’s about all I have to say on her.

And I also stand by the following statement: The Scarecrow is the best part of The Dark Knight Rises. You read that right. His ten seconds were my absolute favorite part. And yes, I do love Bane and I think Tom Hardy did an amazing job with a limited character, but it is what it is. I love the Scarecrow more.

Also, perhaps what is another of my favorite thing about the Scarecrow is that one of the only villains in the Nolan franchise that truly wants to do things for selfish reasons. He’s just in it for the money.

Ra’s is hellbent on destroying Gotham because he thinks its for the greater the good of cleansing the world. Two-Face is trying to save Gotham and avenge Rachel. The Joker does it because he thinks life is boring and he wants to set the people of Gotham free, but he’s also using it get closer to the Batman, who he is in love with (he is, you guys). Thalia wants to destroy Gotham to avenge her father, and Bane does it because he loves Thalia. Even Catwoman secretly has a heart of a gold.

Even when you branch out to the non-Nolan films, most of the villains don’t have terrible reasons. Michelle Pfieffer is trying to fight sexist bosses. The Penguin is a disenfranchised freak who just wants to belong. Mr. Freeze is trying to find a cure to save his beloved wife. Poison Ivy is trying to save the earth from pollution. The Riddler just wants to be appreciated and has a weird crush on Bruce Wayne. These are less villains than misunderstood, overzealous vigilantes, not that different from Batman from himself (which brings in a larger theme about the character of Batman, but I digress).

But the Scarecrow? He thinks he’s just pushing drugs for money. He actually doesn’t give a shit about anyone else. He’s terrifying with his mask and his potions, and he does it for no reason other than the fact that he can.

The Joker – everything he does is for, about, because of the Batman. I don’t think he’s actually  sexually attracted to Batman (or maybe even anyone), but all his actions in The Dark Knight are really a love letter to Batman.

And if there’s one thing that’s true about me it’s that I love sociopaths in movies. And the Scarecrow – who cares for no one but himself – is the closest thing there is a sociopath in the Nolan trilogy. It’s actually weird that I like Bane so much, because he’s really the most altruistic and empathetic. (Remember when he cried, you guys? That was sad).

So there it is. My long blog about Batman villains. And now you all know. Feel free to discuss in the comments. I like taking about Batman, and I will definitely join in.

I live in a fantasy world where at some point in the future I will either not be working or recouping from working or involved in something else that is occupying time. It’s in this time that I will complete very exciting activities, like finally putting together my Lego Death Star, re-reading all of The Dark Tower books from start to finish without interruption (other than for sleep and bathroom breaks), finally complete Arkham City (including getting all those damn Riddler trophies) and watch the original version of Blade Runner plus the various director’s cuts to compare all the differences.

Most of these things I have planned to do for sometime, but I still haven’t done them. Admittedly, I’ve made time to catch up on TV shows and read other books and even put together other Legos. It’s the largeness of these particular projects that I feel like I need to set aside time to work on them.

And I never have a chunk of time that I feel good about saying, “I will not write or edit or outline or spend time with family or clean the house or walk the dog. I will only devote myself to this thing that really doesn’t need to be done except for the fact that I want to do it.”

This past fall, I really let time away get away from. Life happened in big and small ways, in both happy and sad, and I let it take over my schedule. Life has a way of rearranging everything and giving you what it thinks you need in lieu of what it thinks you want. And it’s very often right.

But now I’m being more cautious about my time management in the future. I have plans, and in order to achieve them, things need to be in a certain time. I’m trying to bring my fantasy world back down to reality.

One of the greatest fantasies in my imagination is that I’d love to go back to school and learn how to do prosthetic make up and make animatronics and puppets. The biggest thing stopping me – other than time – is that I know I have no aptitude toward those things or anything artistic. But I would really love to do.

Creatures are probably my favorite things. From Hoggle and Ludo in Labyrinth, the aliens in Alien, the skeksis and especially the landstriders in The Dark Crystal, the pale man and the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth, the tauntaun and Salacious B. Crumb in the original Star Wars trilogy, Tim Curry in Legend, the shark in Jaws, the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, and damn near everything in Jim Henson’s The Storyteller series. I love creatures that come alive.

In looking forward to what I want to work on and write about in future projects, I see a lot more monsters. I love the romance and the paranormal elements I’ve worked with, but I definitely see more horror and creatures.

It’s because I know I can’t create these things in real life that I write about them. They dominate my imagination. They fascinate me beyond all reason. I’ve seen some of the puppetry and creatures in real life, and I could literally just stare at them for hours.

So, if there ever comes a point where I do ever take a break from writing or all of  you stop reading, I think I’ll go back to school for that. Even if I never got good at it, I’d be thrilled to to bring coffee to the guys that actually make these things real, as long as I could watch.

Yes, I know Elegy is a book, not a movie. And yes, I know that Elegy is a book that won’t even be out for several more months. (Not sure of the exact release date but I think maybe late summer/fall 2013).

But I don’t care. I’m sharing it now. In my mind, each book in the Watersong series really kinda has a signature song, one that, to me, encompasses the atmosphere and story of the book. Even the short story Forgotten Lyrics has a song – “In Transit” by Mark Hoppus. Wake is “Never Let Me Go” by Florence + the Machines, Lullaby is “A Soft Place to Land” by Kathleen Edwards, and Tidal is “White Blank Page” by Mumford & Sons, and for Elegy it is this song – “Night is Cold” by Civil Twilight.

I couldn’t find the lyrics online, so I listened to it many times and wrote them for my enjoyment, and now I’ll share them with you.

“Night is Cold” by Civil Twilight

It was a sunny day when they drove away
And my love disappeared into the clouds
Where they made her wait
And they made her burn every picture I ever sent

There’s a thing they want so bad
We call it love
There’s a thing you’ll never have
 We call it love
It moves like the ocean
It sways like sea
It’ll never fail to be… love

When the city burned and the capital fell
We were made to walk the road to nowhere
The ones who still feel were made to kneel
As if they could have the one thing they could never hold

There’s a thing they want so bad
We call it love
There’s a thing they’ll never have
We call it love
It moves like the ocean
It sways like sea
It’ll never fail to be
It’ll never fail to be
It’ll never fail

They can have it, but they’ll never hold it
They can steal it, but they’ll never own it
Never own it