Amanda Hocking

I read that stupid book Charlotte’s Web for the first time when I was eight, and I had both pigs and spiders on the farm. I always wanted to save every pigs’ life, and I felt it was my duty to pay it to Charlotte for saving Wilbur.

So, thanks to Charlotte and her stupid web, I always think, “I will save you and not kill you, you hideously monstrous 8-legged freak. I especially won’t destroy your disgusting alien pod of eggs, because that was all Charlotte had left to carry on her legacy.”

This made the incident tonight involving a faulty cable modem very, very disturbing.

Today, my internet went out, and Charter Digital Cable’s solution for fixing first involves unplugging the modem. Since the problem wasn’t solved easily tonight, it involved me unplugging the modem several times, and yelling into the phone to the automated speaker who could not hear me shouting the word “Continue!” frantically.

Because this is what is sitting in front of and all around my cable modem:

That’s right. My basement is like the barn in Arachanophobia, except way more dungeony. I don’t know why my modem is in the basement, even the my office with the computer is in the second floor. My step-dad put it there, and that’s where it’s always lived.

I would take a picture of my actual basement to show you how horrific the egg sacks and spiderwebs are down there, but I’d have to go back down there. I never want to go down there again.

Anyway, on a fun positive note, this is something I discovered on the internet that I enjoyed (and is not at all about stupid creepy spiders):

http://ph.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100812114015AAwLU5R

P. S. Don’t forget to enter the giveaway!