Amanda Hocking

I have a dog, whom I love very much. He’s a schnauzer, and he’s four-years-old. His name is Elroy Supradaze Bartokomous. This is what he looks like:

This is Elroy getting along with my cat Squeak

The problem with Elroy is that he’s a jerk. I mean, he’s good with people, my two cats, and my mom’s dogs, but he’s very aggressive with everything else. My friend Valerie is staying with us, and she has to keep her cat separate from Elroy because he wants to attack and eat it.

About eight months ago, Eric and I looked into getting another dog. We found a four-month-old terrier at a shelter that we really liked, so we took Elroy to meet the dog. The meeting did not go well. Elroy was very mean.

This is Elroy cuddling with a stuffed possum

But the thing is, I still want another dog. I feel bad that we don’t have another dog. There’s tons of dogs in shelters, and we have a fenced in yard, the time, the space, and the money to have at least one more dog. The only thing standing in our way is Elroy’s attitude.

But even if I didn’t want another dog, I don’t like Elroy’s aggressive nature. I’m afraid that it might get worse as he gets older, and even if it doesn’t, I don’t want him attacking other dogs or animals. That’s just not nice.

I’ve gotten books and read up on some things about how to deal with bad behavior in dogs, but really, I’m at a loss. Does anybody know how to stop him from being so aggressive? Or any good obedience training type things in Southern Minnesota?

You’ve probably heard of the viral campaign going around to “Stop Kony” or “Make Kony Famous” or “Kony 2012.” I’ve talked about it and posted the video on twitter and Facebook myself. You may have also heard about the new controversy surrounding Invisible Children, the organization behind the campaign.

If you’re not familiar with it, here is the thirty minute video put out to Stop Kony (which I do suggest you watch, if you haven’t already):

KONY 2012 from INVISIBLE CHILDREN on Vimeo.

Here is a link to the piece in The Daily What that talks about the Invisible Children: here. And here’s another piece from the Huffington Post talking more about Kony: here.

When I first started watching the Stop Kony video, I was annoyed that it was 30 minutes long. I still am actually. I think they could’ve condensed it down to a 5 minute video. Yes, that probably would’ve meant cutting out the director’s insanely adorable son and a Mumford & Son song, but it would’ve been more digestible.

At any rate, I did end up watching the whole thing.While I was moved by the plight of the children in Uganda – which is truly horrendous – I was leery about where the video was going. Thoughts I had during the first 20 or so minutes were:

-The guy making the video is clearly a hippie. This made me nervous, because a lot of times, hippies view a course of action as “hoping,” “dreaming,” “loving.” These aren’t courses of action. These are merely emotions that may spur action, but they aren’t action themselves. And nothing changes without action. It’s not merely enough to feel or want or hope  – you must do.

-This Kony guy is a massive douche. But even if we take him out of power, the LRA is probably still going to be active. Dictatorships like this act like a hydra – cut one head off, and two more will pop up its in place. The entire climate in Uganda and the surrounding countries needs to change so they can defend themselves and organizations like LRA won’t be tolerated by their own local government. Sending the US in to get rid of one dictator is like giving a man fish vs. teaching him to fish himself. These people need to be able to feed themselves every day without US aide.

-The plights of people in Uganda is so multi-layered and complex that doing one act like this won’t change everything. In fact, I’m not sure it will change all that much. The video proclaims that if this one thing is done, we’ll have changed the world forever. That’s not true at all. Forever is a very, very long time. At best, we will change things for awhile.

But at the end of the video – when there came a clear, simple course of action – is when I started to get on board with the idea. It’s simple, possible for anyone to do, it’s free, and it could actually work.

One thing I took issue from The Daily What article was this part: KONY 2012, the latest fauxtivist fad sweeping the web (remember “change your Facebook profile pic to stop child abuse”?) The reason I liked Kony 2012 is because it’s the exact opposite of that.

I’ll be honest with you – I hate that crap. I remember a lot of people doing that for Caylee Anthony and thinking “How does this help anyone?” I’m very anti-child abuse, but changing your profile picture doesn’t do anything. Everyone knows kids are abused. We don’t need reminders. We need a call to action.

The Caylee Anthony death was a great time for America to have a conversation about how to prevent child abuse. If instead of changing your profile pic, they had said volunteer at a local woman’s shelter, gave tips on how to help young parents who seem overwhelmed, giving tips and signs on how to know whether a child is being abused, etc, I would’ve gotten on board.

But it didn’t. It was sentimentality without an action plan, so nothing changes.

The Kony 2012 is the first time I’ve seen a clear action plan in this internet movements, and I’ll admit it – I got excited.

That didn’t address my other concerns, which is that getting rid of Kony probably won’t dramatically change anything. But you know what – so what? Kony has raped and kidnapped somewhere between 10,000 and 66,000 kids. Even if getting rid of him doesn’t solve all of Uganda’s problems (and it won’t), it gets him off the street.

It’s like catching one pedophile in your neighborhood doesn’t get rid of every pedophile in the world. But it does get rid of that one.

So yes, I do think the video is a little melodramatic and exaggerated, but justifiably so. I don’t think people would react if they spoke about things more realistically, and this guy Kony is a douche. Everybody agrees with that. Just not everybody agrees that Invisible Children organization.

Which brings me to my next point – I don’t know anything about Invisible Children’s book keeping, so I can neither condemn or defend them. What I can say is what I believe: Most large charity organizations have some corruption and overhead costs. The larger the organization, the more problems it has. I’m not saying that its right or that I condone. I’m just being realistic.

Which is why I tend donate locally more. When you do that, more of the money you donate actually goes to the cause you’re supporting. I think it makes me more of a difference when I donate to my local humane society than it does the ASPCA. That’s not say that I don’t give money to the ASPCA, too – I just give more to my local human society, and I believe more of the money goes directly to helping the animals.

I’m not saying that to justify any wrongdoing that the Invisible Children may be doing (if they in fact are doing any). Or any wrongdoing that any charity organization is doing. I’m just saying that when I hear of corruption, I’m not shocked.

So what’s my take away from all of this? That Kony guy is a douche and should be stopped. We can do things to stop him without giving any money to Invisible Children. And we probably won’t change the world, but we might be able to change the lives for a lot of children.

And for a few days on twitter, the trending topics were about saving children instead of a celebrity. For me, that counts as a win.

I encourage all of you to more research and form an opinion for yourself on Kony and Invisible Children and the conflicts in Africa. 

Hey you guys, the re-release of Torn is out today. I’m pretty excited about it, because Torn is an awesome book. For those of you that don’t know, Torn is the second book in the Trylle Trilogy. The first book, Switched, is out now, and you should check it out if you haven’t.

Also, there’s some new content on my website (www.worldofamandahocking.com), including this awesome new floor of the palace in Forening. You can check that out: here.

For those of you that do know about it, you may have some questions about the re-release of Torn. Here are some of the questions you may have, and the answers to them:

Wait. I thought Switched and the other Trylle books were already out. Are these new books in the series?

No. Switched, Torn, and Ascend were previously self-published, but St. Martin’s bought the English world rights to them in early 2011. I unpublished all three books in mid-2011. Since then, they’ve gone through an editing process and are being re-released in both ebook and paperback. Switched came out January 3, 2012, Torn February 28, 2012, and Ascend April 24, 2012. There are still only 3 books in the trilogy.

How are the Trylle books different from their previously self-published versions? Are they different?

There are some differences, yes. The most notable will be fewer errors, since they’ve had a more intensive editing. They’ve been polished up and smoothed out, with a few things elaborated on. There are extended scenes, and the third book even contains an additional chapter. But there isn’t alternate ending for the series. All the character’s fates remain the same.

Additionally, each book contains a brand new, never-before-published short story. Switched has “The Vittra Attacks” which sheds some light on how the Vittra came after Wendy and what they plan to do next. Torn has “One Day, Three Ways” (my personal favorite of the three stores) which shows how three different characters spend a pivotal day from the book. Ascend has “Ever After” which  explains more of what becomes of the characters after the end of the book, and it’s set roughly a year and a half in the future.

If I already bought the Trylle books as ebooks when they were self-published, will the new content be updated?

No, sorry. I can’t even do that with my self-published books. I’ve made changes and updates, but when I re-publish them, they don’t update to previously purchased books. It’s just the way things are.

Can you tell us about any changes in Torn specifically?

I can tell you that while characters haven’t changed, there is a new revelation to the book. I can’t really say more than that without giving things away. It’s more of a clarification than than an actual change, and the book is stronger for it.

Where can I get Torn?

Torn is available in ebook for all ereaders. The paperbacks are available pretty much anywhere books are sold, both online and in stores. There are links to buy the book from my website: here. The books are also out in audio format.

Dear High School Me:

You were right about some things, but wrong about most of them, and you spent way too much time being melodramatic and obsessive. As an adult, you’re still that way, but on a more functional level, and by the time you’re in your fifties, you might be a normal person.

I’m writing to you today because you spent most of high school assuming you would not out live Kurt Cobain. As of a few months ago, this was officially false, but since today is his birthday, I’ve decided to address it.

I’ve also decided to address a few other things: You didn’t die because that boy didn’t like you. In fact, eventually, you did realize that boy was a HUGE loser and not worth of any of the emotions you wasted on him. He wasn’t funny or attractive or that bright. But he was – most importantly – unavailable. This will become a recurring theme in your life. Being attracted to unavailable men so you don’t ever actually have to get involved with them, and therefore, in some deluded way, you think you risk never getting hurt.

This is false. The only way to avoid hurting is to not care about anybody at all, and you care about everybody. So you’re going to hurt. Let’s just save you the trouble right now of trying to avoid pain or thinking there’s something wrong with feeling pain: Life is very painful But not all the time. If you accept the pain and deal with it, you’ll find much more happiness than if you spend the whole time avoiding it.

But you know what, now that I think about that – you don’t go after unavailable guys because you want to get hurt. You do it because you know it will. You know that they’ll reject you. Your self-esteem is so ungodly ridiculous that you only go after people that will reaffirm it – meaning people that will reject or will treat you like shit. This is not an enjoyable way to live life. At all.

On a related note, many of your boyfriends will turn out to be gay. I feel like you should establish better gay-dar. This will also be helpful. I think deep down you know that they’re gay, because you were never really that attached to them, but it would just save time for everybody if you stopped dating gay men.

Also – those kids you’re trying really hard to be cool for to impress, they are dickholes. They are all dickholes. Ten years later, none of those dickholes even talk to you. The friends that you’ve kept and made long term were the ones you thought you were too cool for. Now you have to spend the rest of your life making it up to them for being such an asshole in high school. Again, it would save so much time if you just avoided being an asshole in the first place.

And another thing, High School Me, you’re not the center of the universe. Assuming that everyone hates you is incredibly narcissistic. Everybody else around you is too worried about their own shit to even notice you, let alone care about you or what you’re doing. The sooner you realize that, the more fun you’ll have. 

Also, you should do your schoolwork more. There’s absolutely no reason to do an assignment, and then not turn it in. Who the hell does that? Why did you do that? You got a D in history because you never did a damn assignment but aced all the tests. Why would anybody do that? If you know the shit, do the work, and move on. You could’ve gotten scholarships. And even if you didn’t, you would’ve felt more pride in yourself and the things you did.

That’s your big problem, High School Me. You gave up before you even started. You’d decided that everything in life was going to be pain and miserable, so you just sat around sulking for four years (more like… eleven years) and obsessing over dead people and grunge and people that didn’t care about you to affirm your own life view that everybody hates you and that life is misery.

Fun fact, High School Me: Life isn’t misery. It’s really not. Sometimes it sucks. Sometimes things happen that you have no control over that hurt really, really bad. And yes, those things weren’t your fault, but you can’t spend the rest of your life assuming you’re damaged or that you deserved that. You can’t spend the rest of your life being hurt because that’s how you think life is supposed to feel.

If you want to know the truth, High School Me?  I’m angry at you. I’m angry at you for wasting time when we should’ve been having fun. It’s not until you’re in your early twenties that you have a nervous breakdown and figure out that nothing is hard or as painful as you thought it was. You were making it that way in some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

You cannot control everything that happens to you. But you can control how you react to it and how you feel about it.

I’m mad at you and Kurt Cobain for thinking suicide is ever an option. It’s lame. It’s seriously so lame. I am still so young, there’s so much stuff I still want to do, and so much joy I still have to experience. And High School Me, you are a god damn idiot for thinking that I would be done by now. That life had already shown me everything it had to offer by the time I was sixteen.

The point is, High School Me, you have the potential to be happy, to have fun, to love and be loved in return. And I am still so angry with you for wasting it, for wasting so many years of my life thinking that suicide was an option. Not only that it was an option, but a probability. You never tried at anything because you thought you’d be dead by now.

You were so ignorant and so wrong. And I wish more than anything I could have those years back, that I could usually them to do something. Because unlike you, High School Me, I want as much time on this earth as I can possibly have.

I need to join some kind of Southland group. Because I’m crazy about that show, and nobody else I know is watching it. And last night’s episode was stupendous. But when I say things like, “Oh my god, how amazing was Michael Cudlitz last night? John Cooper is the best!” or “Wow. Shawn Hatosy has been working out,” nobody knows what I’m talking about. I also want to talk about the Ben Sherman story arc because I’m not sure how I feel about it.

These are the things I want to talk about, but nobody wants to talk about them with me. Which makes me sad.

In other news – the first four chapters of Torn, the second book in the Trylle Trilogy, is up now for you to read at the Trylle Series Facebook page. Here’s the link to the page, if you want to like: https://www.facebook.com/amandahockingtrylle. And here’s the link to read the chapters: here. Torn will be out in just under two weeks, which seems strange to me, but it’s also exciting.

I did go see This Means War last night, and I enjoyed it. It was exactly what I thought it would be, which was pleasing to me. And Tom Hardy is probably the fifth most fantastic person that has ever lived.

The one issue that I had with the film: Chris Pine’s name was FDR. And nobody ever addressed that. Not even Chelsea Handler, who was delivering wonderful one-liners the whole film. Reese Witherspoon said, “I’m dating this guy named FDR.” And Chelsea Handler didn’t say anything like, “What? FDR? The 32nd President of the United States? Also, isn’t that like a bridge or tunnel or highway somewhere? Were his parents big fans of the Roosevelts? Is he a Roosevelt? I don’t understand.”

Then later, they referred to Chris Pine as Agent Foster, so I’m to assume him that his name is FDR Foster. And Tom Hardy’s kid refers to Chris Pine as “Uncle Frank.” So is his name Franklin Delano Roosevelt Foster? That’s an absurd name. Well, it’s not, but it’s a strange thing to name somebody without ever referencing it.

And when Reese Witherspoon was visiting his family, that would’ve been a great time for her to be all, “Hey, why is he named FDR? Was he born on President’s day?”

Also, when she’s getting all romantical with Chris Pine, what is she whispering in his ear? “Oooo FDR?” That’s doesn’t seem right. Something about calling a person by initials doesn’t seem intimate.

Anyway, aside from that, it was an enjoyable film. I laughed many a time. Tom Hardy and Chris Pine had excellent chemistry. In fact, they should’ve ended up together, because they were clearly in love with each other. Between the characters played by Tom Hardy & Chris Pine, they each told Reese they loved her exactly once. But they told each other that they loved each other about ten billion times.

Early in the film, Tom Hardy and Chris Pine were having a conversation where Tom literally says, “You love me. You’d do anything for me. You’d take a bullet for me, and I feel the same for you.” To which Chris Pine says, “Yes, of course.” And Tom says, “Could you ever imagine transferring those feelings, and feeling that same kind of thing with a woman?” Which Chris Pine honestly replies, “No. Never.”

That’s basically an admission of homosexuality, isn’t it? I mean, Chris Pine never explicitly says, “I want to have sex with you Tom Hardy, whose character’s name is Tuck, which is much more normal compared to my never explained initials.” But it’s implied. Throughout the entire film.

Oh well. I know that they really love each other, and that’s what matters to me.