Amanda Hocking

Hi guys! I’m here to take part in Amanda’s adventure filled blog tour, and give you all a little break from the excitement with a post from me, Eric Goldman, Amanda’s personal assistant/creative adviser/life coach/viceroy/roommate/friend/punishment in life.

One of my favorite things are villains. Not real-life villains like Hitler or the writer(s) of “Call me Maybe,” but villains in films and literature, particularly villainesses, or as I like to call them “Lady Villains.”

One time Amanda and I were talking, as we tend to do, and we were trying to figure out why I like lady villains so much. I obviously knew part of the reason was because they tend to be much more over the top and campy than boy villains, and I’m sure that’s the biggest reason…I love me some campyness. But, we also decided that lady villains usually have a more emotional reason for doing the things that they do. Rarely do you find a lady villain pointlessly murdering people, or plotting against them for no reason. More often than not, they’re doing things out of insecurity, or revenge, and I know all about being insecure and seeking revenge on enemies from my past…I’m still coming for you, guy who stole my donut at work last year.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun (for me at least) to create a Top Ten List of my favorite lady villains from films, so let’s get to that, because pictures are enjoyable.

But first, a WARNING-
If you hate spoilers, and a lady villain’s photo looks unfamiliar to you, I recommend not reading the accompanying description. I have incredible taste, and I would hate for such an amazing film to be ruined for you…Especially if Amanda’s Mom reads this, because she still has to watch something I lent her. Otherwise…

Here we go:

Carrie’s mom (from “Carrie”) is definitely over the top, but not so much in a good way. Margaret White is starting off this list, because while she does portray the qualities I seek in an enjoyable female villain, she is also batshit crazy, and scares me quite a bit.

For #9, we have another insane woman. (I’m guessing insanity is going to play a role in this list.) Debbie Salt, the mother seeking revenge for her son’s murder in “Scream 2.” Debbie’s intentions are admirable, but…maybe she should have looked at things from other people’s point of view, and tried to understand why her son might have been killed. Just throwing that out there, Deb. (I still like you though.)

I’m sure you already guessed that she would make the cut. She is amazing, and the lengths she goes to for a pair of shoes are remarkable. My favorite things: She’s green, she’s a witch, and this line: “Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? Oooooh, look out! I’m going! Oooooh! Ooooooh!” Someone should make a remix of that. Dubstep.

Annie Wilkes is pissed off that her favorite author isn’t doing things the way she would have liked. Watch out, Amanda…if I’m not pleased with the ending of “Elegy” I might have to try a few of Annie’s tricks, until I get the ending I want. (I know where you keep the sledgehammer.)

Stuck in the past, and jealous of her sister’s more recent brush with fame, “Baby Jane” Hudson spends her free time getting drunk, hanging out with a hired friend, and feeding Joan Crawford dead pets that make her spin around in her wheelchair 8 times. That’s my idea of a fun retirement.

*Sigh* Anjelica Huston is so great at playing a bitch. I really enjoy her. I was torn between Rodmilla, and whats-her-face from “The Witches,” but this character in “Ever After” has to be my favorite. Her jealousy of Cinderella’s neatness makes for some enjoyable viewing. If/When the Trylle Trilogy films are made, she has my vote to play Elora…but, unfortunately, I don’t have any power over anything in this world.

“Batman & Robin” is a really horrible film, and that’s why I like it so much. Unfortunately, most of the people in the movie don’t seem to realize that it’s awful, except for Uma Thurman, and that makes me love her. She saunters from soundstage to soundstage delivering over the top soliloquies like it’s nothing. She’s a pro. (2nd place vote for this film goes to the reporter, who thinks she’s best friends with Bruce Wayne. If she were a villain, she would probably be #1 on this list…maybe she’ll make the Batman reboot. But, she at least deserves a picture…so, here you go, Gotham City Gossip Columnist:

This lady decides that spots are going to be the next big thing in fashion, and decides the only way she can get that look is by killing “101 Dalmatians.” I’m no fan of puppy murder, but the lengths Cruella is willing to go for a coat are astounding. Also, she has a cigarette stick that I’m jealous of. Also, she’s played by Glenn Close. All neat things.

Everyone knows that I love Bette Midler. Or, at least they do now. Anyway, seeing Bette Midler playing a witch that hates her sisters and pretty much everything around her is a very enjoyable time. The ending always makes me sad, because the three witches are so much more enjoyable than anyone else…even the cat, voiced by James Marsden’s brother.

And finally…..

1. Ursula (Duh.)

I love Disney movies, I love Disney villains, Ursula is my favorite Disney villain, so here she sits. My number one choice. I love her voice, I love her song, and I love that while she’s singing, she just shouts her entire plan loud enough for Ariel to hear, but Ariel doesn’t care…she just wants legs. She kinda had it coming, don’t you think?

There you go…those are my Top 10 Villainesses. Agree? Disagree? Did I forget anyone? Oh, by the way, if you like lady villains as much as I do, (or if you hate them, and like everything else that’s good) you should totally pick up “Wake” by my friend Amanda. If I had included books, they would have definitely made it on this list, because they’re pretty creepy, and pretty neat, and pretty pretty. Oh! And I’ll give you things too. Enter the giveaway below, and you might win a relationship with me, Eric Goldman! Or, you can win your choice of 3 of the films mentioned above…your pick. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I’m going to do a “meet a character from Watersong” post. It’s just a quick questionnaire that hopefully work as little introduction to the characters, as well as a pictures of actors that I think closely resemble how I imagined them.
This week it’s Alex Lane, the boy who lives next door to Gemma and Harper in Wake.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as “Alex” would be awesome, but only if we had a time machine, because he’s like 30 now, and Alex is 18. But I can’t help it. I pictured a younger JGL, because he’s pretty and has that really respectable boy-next-door-quality about him, and I can’t un-picture him now just because he’s too old.

1. Real Name: Alexander Lane
2. Birthday: December 5th
3. Age: 18
4. Zodiac: Sagittarius
5. Boy or Girl: Boy
6. High School: Capri High School, but I just graduated
7. College: Sundham University in the fall
8. Job: None right now, but I was a dishwasher at a restaurant for two years
9. Hair Color: Brown
10. Eye Color:Brown
11. Height:5’10
12. Piercing/Tattoos: None
13. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: None at the moment
14. Best Friend: Harper or Luke
15. Last person you talked to: My mom
16. Last person you texted: Harper
17. Last person you watched a movie with: My friend Luke. We saw The Avengers.
18. Last song you listened to: “It’s Tricky” by Run-DMC
19. Favorite Movie: The Dark Knight
20. Favorite Bands: M83 and Miniature Tigers
21. Favorite Books: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
22. Favorite Food: Nachos
23. Favorite Beverage: Mountain Dew
24. Favorite Possession:Probably my X-Box
25. Favorite Place: I don’t really have one. Just wherever the people I care about are, I guess.

While planning for Under the Seapalooza, I was trying to come up with some fun ideas for things to and asked for input. Nikki Jefford (author of Entangled and the awesome guest post & giveaway, which you should check out: here) came up with the idea for weekly “Show & Tell” memes.

Here’s how it works:

Unlike ongoing meme’s, this one is temporary – every Thursday throughout the month of Under the Seapalooza. Each week, I’ll show off my favorite something (this week it’s bookmarks), then you show off your favorite thing and enter to win a prize.

This is the schedule for Show & Tell Thursdays:
July 25th – Bookmarks
August 2nd – eReader Skins
August 9th – Journals
August 16th – Book Trailers

When I first got my Kindle two years ago, I discovered GelaSkins, and I’ve been obsessed with them ever since. I’ve gotten skins for my eReaders, my cell phone, and even my laptop. I’ve changed them a few times, but here are my current skins:

My nook skin is called “Coffee Angel” by Caia Koopman.

My Kindle Fire skin is called “Meow” by Lora Zombie.

So what about you? Do you have a skin for your eReader? If you don’t have an eReader, do you have covers for you cell phone or laptop?

If you’re like me and love decorating your electronics, then you’re in luck. Because I’m giving away a $50 Gift Certificate to Gelaskins. What’s awesome about them is they have skins for phones, laptops, eReaders, iPads, gaming, etc. You can design your own skin, or even order prints from their artists. So even if you don’t have an eReader right now, you should definitely enter the giveaway.

All Show & Tell Giveaways will run until August 25th. It’s open to the US & Canada only, sorry.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thanks again to Nikki Jefford for coming up with such a fun idea!  

The first week of Under the Seapalooza has gone by, and there’s been a lot going on. There are too many giveaways to list in one post, so check it out the Under the Seapalooza tab. 

Also, it’s only ONE week until Wake comes out! It’s crazy how fast/slow time is going by. I cannot wait for it to hit shelves, though!

The book trailer for Wake is set to premiere on August 1st. Until then, stills are being revealed over at my Facebook. There’s been six so far, and in case you missed them, I’ve posted the first three: here, and now I’m posting the next three.

Still #4

Still #5

Still #6

 Also, just for fun, I’m posting a picture of the newest, most adorable member of my family.

Sophie is a birthday present from my mom, because I was talking about getting another cat. She’s a rescue from the Mower County Humane Society, where they have many other adorable cats and kittens who need homes. Sopie’s been with us for two days, but she’s adjusting pretty well to living without her brothers and sisters. My dog likes her, but my other two cats are cautiously getting used to her.

Sophie meeting Elroy